Struggling After Baby: Postpartum Anxiety and Unexpected Emotions

Many of us imagine falling instantly in love with our babies, breastfeeding with ease, becoming an organized and glowing new mom, bringing their baby everywhere while soaking in every sweet moment of motherhood.

But here’s the thing — birth and babies don’t follow our plans. And neither do mental health challenges.

When Everything Feels Harder Than Expected

I ended up having a smooth, unmedicated birth, just as I had planned and hoped. But once I was home, reality felt much harder than I imagined. Breastfeeding was incredibly challenging, recovery was more overwhelming than I expected, and the demands of caring for a newborn quickly piled up. 

It is mindblowing, really — how much is asked of new mothers. You’re expected to heal physically from birth, get enough sleep (with a waking baby), nourish yourself properly, and care for a newborn around the clock. It’s an impossible standard, yet no one really talks about how overwhelming and lonely that can feel.

The excitement I felt during pregnancy started to fade, replaced by exhaustion, anxiety, and intrusive thoughts. I cried often in the early days. On top of being sleep deprived, most days I felt like I was just going through the motions of motherhood.

What I Wish I Knew: Maternal Mental Health Matters

Looking back, I realize how much I needed to hear four simple words before becoming a mom:

your mental health matters.

I wish someone — anyone — had explained that mental health struggles in pregnancy and postpartum are common, that they aren’t a reflection of failure, and that help is available. I wish I had been prepared for the possibility of intrusive thoughts, for anxiety and sadness to take up space alongside joy.

We have regular monthly check-ins, which become weekly as we approach baby’s due date — every detail closely monitored until birth. But once the baby arrives, that support dramatically shifts. After our bodies spend nine months undergoing profound physiological changes and the intense experience of giving birth to a tiny human, we get one, maybe two postpartum visits if we’re lucky.

Who is checking in on us, the mothers, during this vulnerable and transformational time? Where are the conversations about navigating the emotional and mental shifts that follow? Where is the guidance on how to care for ourselves while caring for our babies?

Maternal Mental Health Disorders Don’t Discriminate

Yes, there are risk factors that can make developing a postpartum mood disorder more likely. But at the end of the day, it doesn’t matter how much money you have, how supportive your family is, or how many books you read to prepare for motherhood.

I thought I had the perfect setup — a loving husband who ran his business from home, the financial freedom to buy anything we needed, a cozy and carefully designed nursery, and the privilege of staying home with my baby. Still, I found myself struggling with anxiety.

Maternal mental health challenges can touch anyone, even when everything on the outside looks just right.

Final Thoughts

So to every expecting and new mama, prepare mentally and emotionally. Finding a provider who specializes in maternal mental health can feel like a breath of fresh air. 

And know that medication isn’t the only option, but if medication becomes part of your healing journey, know this: it’s okay. Taking care of your mental health will allow you to show up for your baby in ways you didn’t think was possible. 

And most of all, please remember: it’s okay to not be okay.

Motherhood will test you in ways nothing else can. You’re allowed to feel vulnerable. You don’t have to enjoy every single moment and admitting that “this is hard” doesn’t make you a bad mom — it makes you human.

Ask for help. Accept help. And be kind to yourself.

You Are Not Alone

If you live outside of Florida, Postpartum Support International can connect you to local resources and providers in your area. Their helpline is available at 1-800-944-4773.

If you’re in Florida and navigating mental health challenges during pregnancy or postpartum, I’m here to help. When you’re ready click here to book your free consultation.